The garden today

My not-so-green thumb is apparently a huge improvement over my husbands we-have-a-garden-? method of watering outdoors. I spent 5 days out of state at a family reunion and before leaving asked hubby to water the plants outside if it didn't rain, and make sure the cats are cared for. Basically, don't let things die while I'm away! On the day I traveled back he watered the houseplants that have taken up their summer residence on the deck; he didn't water the memorial garden at all.

After baking in the hot Southern sun for 5 days the garden doesn't look so good right now. The transplanted clematis was completely brown and dry so I clipped it away. The new clematis developed a dead vine so that part was removed too. The butterfly bushes are hanging in there and have tiny blooms! The sprouting of sown seeds is still questionable but there are some itty bitty plants that do not look like the weeds I recognize so I have hope. Tonight I pulled some weeds and watered well.

Overall, the garden still looks more like a patch of dirt with some random plants than a real garden. It's time to find more "stuff" for it. Perhaps stepping stones, cute butterfly decorative things, and some more plants. Growing plants from seeds is something that I just need to do in this garden. However, I also need some faster progress - instant gratification - faster transformation from weedy dirt bed to a pretty place. I'd like to, need to, have it into a decent shape, including a Jizo garden statue, by November 8, the first year anniversary of my son's delivery.

Now for too much information. This is a new blog and I'm not sure where it's going to go; I'm not sure how much of my crazy side I want to write about. For tonight I'm just writing and may remove parts later.

Even though the garden is not looking great it is not the ugliest thing in my life this week. Yesterday turned into a bad day. To set the scene, the day before was spent in airports after visiting with family (which is not a "good thing", rather attendance at family reunions is my duty), then I suspected hubby did not water my garden (a far away glance revealed the dead branches of the clematis and I couldn't face the plants up close yesterday). So yesterday mornings therapy session was entered feeling exhausted, frustrated and hurt by stupid things some family members said to me, and extremely sad that my husband would forget to keep my garden alive while I was away. The session brought many emotions to the forefront. Then I read a message that my friend has a new nephew. Then I read an e-mail from a friend in response to an e-mail answering her question if the rumors of me being pregnant were true. She said that if it's "meant to be" we will have a baby someday. Well wishes such as "meant to be" kind of send me over the edge lately. At dinner I ask my husband if he wants to stay married and did not get an answer of "most definitely". Second margarita is ordered. Suddenly I must see a friend so I end up at her house chain smoking and doing tequila shots while crying and talking about things that would have been kept boiling inside if I had not been plastered. This is followed by passing out on her couch and then 12 hours of vomiting. Another not-my-finest moment.

But today I feel much better (now that the hangover has subsided). I do not know the details of last night after I passed out but my husband has been kinder today and I feel so much comfort knowing that people care that I had a crappy weekend and want to help me. Kind of looking forward to tomorrow...