Wishing you courage

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow'."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Sock it to me!

Kym herself (the brains behind Sock it to Me) got my name in the sock exchange and she completely spoiled me! Look at the beautiful socks she sent me!


Here's what the note Kym included said:
"Butterflies for Toren, a new car for taking the wheel of your new life, and ballet slippers for the hopes that not only will you walk in heels again, but that you'll also be able to gracefully dance when life keeps you on your toes"

I have already found great comfort with these socks (I had to wash the race car ones before the photo shoot!). While my socks will not be worn in stirrups anytime soon (if ever), outside of my annual gyno visit, they ready for visits with lawyers, divorce finalization day (thinking positively here, I don't know when that's actually going to happen), and for those days when I still feel sad (happens more than I like to admit so luckily there are 3 pairs of socks!).

...........

2009 was a really diverse year for me. The year started out with me longing for my husband to realize that he loved me and return home - THAT feels like a long time ago! I rented out rooms in my house so that I could afford to pay the mortgage. I started DATING, and ended up with a BOYFRIEND. And, something that was not written about much here, I began opening up to my family and sharing some honest thoughts with them, which I have not done as an adult before and never would have without having "practiced" on y'all.

You all, my blogging friends, read along and offered encouragement and advice through that emotional year, and never did any one here express frustration that it took so long for me to move on from Toren dying and from my husband leaving. That has been vital. Probably only through the patience of listeners who understand that some losses just hurt for a very long time was I able to start reforming my life.

Starting this anonymous blog and "meeting" so many great people has truly been a beautiful experience.

..............

With so much grief worked through, in 2010 I am able to participate more in life, in blog activities (such as SITM), and offer the view of someone who has survived the initial, crushing heartbreak of losing a baby in supporting others. And of course I'll still be bitching and complaining over here! I still have to get divorced! And this lousy depression lingers on so certainly more pity party posts are predicted (although I hope to actually recover from depression this year).

...........

Anyway thanks everyone for reading along and commenting - it has meant so much. Check out the other SITM posts here. And, the adorable dog in the photo belongs to one of my housemates and her name is Diamond :)

9 comments:

Meg said...

I love the socks and I love that this blog has helped you. And guess what....I'm positive it's helped other, too. Bonus! The socks are awesome and the note is beyond sweet. I hope things keep looking up and up for you, Anna!

Reba said...

nice socks!!! i feel my bloggity space has helped me too. it's good to feel i am doing something good for myself, you know? i am the mistress of my own fate...or something.

BluebirdSinging said...

Love the socks!

I just wanted to thank YOU for this blog! You were the very first person to leave a comment on my blog shortly after I started writing it and it meant so very much to me to find someone that understood what this life is like. I wish that we didn't have to "meet" this way but I am so glad that we did.

And I hope that you keep writing whether it's bitching, moaning, pity parties, or finding bits of happiness here and there (and I truly do wish more happiness for you) - I look forward to reading it all.

Sending you much love...

ALEH said...

I love the socks and the note Kymberli included. I am new to reading your blog. I am truly sorry to hear about how tough 2009 was for you. I hope that 2010 brings you all the blessings and comfort in the world. Happy SITM!

angelseashore said...

I feel like I've hit the "recovery" stage of my grief too though I still have my sad moments (not days and weeks anymore - yea). So, here is to a healing and happy 2010 in all aspects of your life.

hugs..

myskytimes said...

Lovely socks and great blogpost! You have no idea how many people YOU helped with your blog. For me it was like heaven to find someone who has lost kid and husband roundabout the same time - just like me.

The fact that our soul reacted with a depression is totally normal and rightful, how much can you loose without loosing it? But we have collected ourselves and continued our life.

You have come a long way and the divorce is just another step. I'll look forward reading your journey...

All the best to you!

xoxo

Sara said...

Aw, big hugs to you, Anna! I'm so glad that - if we HAD to go on this awful journey - at least we could do it together. How wonderful that you've been opening up to your family! xoxo

Bree said...

adorable socks and what sweet message she included with them. i'm happy you're finding some peace! you deserve it!

Catherine W said...

The socks are so lovely. I'm glad they will be there to raise your spirits.

I can only echo what many have already said, thank you so much for your writing. I hope that 2010 brings you many good things. xo