Wishing you courage

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow'."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Sock it to me

I love Kym's Sockeroo's!  I want to give a huge "THANK YOU" to my sock buddy Alexicographer who leaves wonderful comments.  Look at the adorable socks she picked out for me - wine and sweets!  She totally hit the mark because I firmly believe that a drink and some chocolate are great coping mechanisms (wallowing in drunken sugar delirium is better than strangling someone)!

Kym gave the following thought to consider during this Sockeroo:
It has been roughly a year and a half since the last SITM Exchange. Reflect on the past 18 or so months – how has support from others, either in the blogosphere or otherwise, helped you?

Away from blogs I rarely seek support for the tough things because so many people are very uncomfortable with anything relating to grief or major loss.  Even with blogging I'm getting quieter, however, when I do bother to say something the support is incredible!  Upon publishing a post, most of the time I think I should have censored it more (to sound less insane), but more often then not the comments are supportive and there are so many other people who say they can relate. 

One of the most striking things I got from group therapy was that there were other people who look competent and put together but who were struggling like I was.  Even without really knowing each other listening, giving encouragement and truly wishing the best for others comes naturally in group therapy.  Kind of like the babyloss blogosphere.  I deeply want everyone of the people I have met through blogging to experience healing and see their dreams actualized and I believe there are people out there who wish the same for me.

Blogging has provided a very different type of relating with others.  I am rarely open about my feelings concerning Toren, divorce, or rainbow making attempts with anyone in person.  I think that expressing frustration and fear about not having conceived a baby yet is one of the more innocuous things I have expressed, but even that makes people look away.  They don't want to ask how the threat of infertility makes me feel given that I have already had heartbreaking luck in making babies that live.  But that is fine (truly!) because I can come here and say that I am so afraid that my parenting story ends with Toren that I can hardly breathe and I know that someone reading can face that horrible feeling with me.  Having someone acknowledge your feelings helps so much.

Now, in real life I have been getting other types of support from my friends and family - wonderful things like love, companionship and fun!  Knowing where to go for the kind of support you need is key.

Thank you all for the mountains of wonderful support you given me!

So, what about you?  What are your thoughts about finding support for the things that hurt terribly?


Kristin said...

What amazing socks. I agree that chocolate and a drink make most everything better.

{{{Hugs}}} and I'm glad you are finding support.

Quiet Dreams said...

Love those socks!

I totally agree about being able to be more real in blogging than in person (at least more quickly than in person).