Thought # 1 while driving from the meeting with the guy I'm divorcing.
The ex is just now starting to deal with Toren's death - he even referred to the baby by his name repeatedly, "Toren". At the time the ex left he did not mention the baby, he didn't want to hear about it, and he certainly didn't say his name.
As requested, I gave him directions to the cemetery and the plot and the place where I keep Toren's things in the communal grave for the ashes of babies. And I told him that I still have the memory box and CD of photos that he can see if he wants to.
Now I'm uncomfortable with the ex visiting Toren's grave. The ex "abandoned" us, he ignored the memory of his son. I feel like he is just MY BABY by now. I don't want to share Toren with his father, even though Toren is only a soul, memory, and ashes.