This little patch of white crocus has been blooming ever since I moved into my house. They are planted in the weirdest spot, but I don't want to move them. They just sprout up every year unexpectedly in an unexpected location.
After wishing for Springtime gardening all winter the crocus are welcomed but they are also a reminder that the world keeps on turning, time keeps moving forward, and I'm still rather stuck. I promise I have not been just sitting around passively waiting for the depression to lift, and the things I'm doing are working, it just takes a long time.
I haven't been writing because I didn't want to keep rehashing everything - everyone knows I miss the baby, everyone knows I'm heartbroken, rejected, and unhappily single, mostly everyone knows that I am broke and struggling to support my household on 1/3 of the previous household income. I'm getting embarrassed by this long string of misfortune. People must be wondering what I'm doing wrong to have found myself with this much loss.
And I have been avoiding telling you all about the dog. Given the lack of photos and stories of puppy cuteness do I really need to say that I returned the dog? After only 4 days. She had some behavioral issues and my vet suggested that the dog would do better with a more experienced dog owner and I would do better with a young puppy who hadn't learned bad habits yet. So that attempt at good news ended in tears and lots of carpet cleaning.
My birthday and Valentines day passed with incident and tears. Work has been incredibly busy, which is wonderful except that too much stress and lack of rest has resulted in me being sick for the past 2.5 weeks. One thing after another. Today laryngitis started.
Ugh, I can't even think today so no more writing for today!