Wishing you courage

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow'."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Thursday, February 19, 2009

A stressful moment at work and I decide to close my office door and have lunch while hiding from the world. You would not believe the number of people who knocked needing something, hoping I was actually in! Listen world, I could use some quiet time.

Concentration is hard to come by. My counterpart at work started maternity leave Tuesday; an e-mail arrived from her husband that she was being induced that afternoon. And that was the last message sent. People from all around the building keep calling and e-mailing me asking if she has had the baby; I get multiple inquiries per day from the same people - like I would neglect to tell everyone the moment I heard any news about the baby! Of course it's stressful and heartbreaking to be the person who will share the news of a safe delivery and healthy baby with cheerful and expectant coworkers. I'll get to hear how happy everyone is for her and her husband and that will be compared to the silence one gets after delivering a deadbaby. Of course I'm happy for her, it's just that life has become so complicated.

So I'm anticipating the birth announcement in an e-mail, knowing it will sting, but also becoming more anxious by the hour from not hearing any news. Perhaps the e-mail was sent to someone else, perhaps the induction is taking a long time (mine took 3 days), perhaps they are so blissed out with the baby they forgot to e-mail work (I hope that's the reason!). But what is one other reason why you would be in no hurry to tell the world about your new son?

My prayer for her: Please don't come to deadbaby land.


Meg said...

You are so Self-less. I am so impressed. You care more for her than for your own feelings about the matter. How sweet. Even with all you have gone throug you can still put her feelings above your own and for that she is very lucky even though she'll never even know how hard it was for you. AnnaMarie, you are a really good person.

debbie said...

Hi anna! Just wanted to say I agree with Meg. You are a sweet person. Plus, it's so great to hear from you again!!