Wishing you courage

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow'."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Monday, May 16, 2011

Parallels

Tonight I selected a Cabernet Sauvignon named Parallel 33 S, thinking it was good inspiration to contemplate parallel lives.  In a parallel universe there was a known price for that wine and it was purchased instead of a lovely Malbec.  Without getting deep into the theories, Hugh Everett III proposed that there are other universes, just like ours, except that different things happen, which would make each universe evolve differently.  Critical events may not happen to *you* in some other universe.  In some other universe you are raising that lost baby.  In some other universe Toren is alive and my marriage took a turn for the better and perhaps in that universe I did not get laid off from my job, which indeed did happen here last Thursday.

The weekend went ok but Monday arrived with a new kind of blues.  The lay-off was unexpected (but not surprising in hindsight) and sudden.  Just like that I have nowhere to be anymore.  Worse, just like that, they took back my ID, office key, and I still need to return to my office to pick up personal items, while supervised.  This is so humiliating.  Even though it was not performance based, I feel really lousy that a relatively small amount of money (I was not paid very well) was selected over keeping me around.  I didn't get to say goodbye to anyone, after working there for 6 years, and now I don't want to run into anyone from there because I'm overcome by shame.

This much shame...


BTW, chocolate and wine is actually a healthy way to cope in my book, as long as it's occasional.  On another day I'll talk about how I WILL NOT let losing a job where I was underpaid and going nowhere professionally get me down, in the meantime any stories of finding work after being laid off would be appreciated.  Anyone have any advice on job hunting, or even getting through tomorrow?


13 comments:

Monique said...

I'm sorry, I don't have any advice other than to keep on putting one foot in front of the other. I wish things were different.

Ya Chun said...

Oh My GOD!

At least you can get unemployment, right? I had a job as lousy as that and I had to quit - so no help!

With so little notice, I guess you are very busy getting your resume together and stuff. Are you on LinkedIN or any other work 'social' network?

Could you do some freelance to help get by?

Anyway, we should totally video chat - now that you have extra time on your hands! And this gives you time to get some fresh air and sun and exercise. Don't just sit around the house all day - an email that comes in after your morning check can wait until you are done your walk and get to your afternoon check.

brianna said...

Oh no, so sorry about getting layed-off. That really sucks. In my book, chocolate and wine are also a fine way to cope.

Hope you find something better soon.

Sophie said...

What the? That massively sucks donkeys balls!!!!

Chin up babe. I recommend lots and lots of glorious sex with snugglebunny... and chocolate and wine is okay in my books now and then too.

Deep breaths. You are awesome. You have been through heaps worse than this. You will be okay. You'll be better than okay, you will be kick ass fantastic... Now put down that wine, (you can come back to it later), hunt down that snugglebunny and make mad passionate love with him!!! ;)

cgd said...

ugh I am so sorry. thinking of you....

Sara said...

Oh Anna, I'm so sorry. You must be feeling very defeated right now. I believe in you; you've got SnuggleBunny; you will survive this. But I'm so sorry it happened.

Reba said...

i'm sorry you were laid off. only advice i have is to collect your unemployment for as long as you can, and take the time to think about what you want to do next. maybe you'll find something you were meant to do (professionally) in this universe if it wasn't this career.

jill said...

Oh no! That really sucks. I have been laid off once. I had only been there 1 year and once I heard lay-offs were on the table I knew I would probably be going but STILL! It was difficult to take.

I collected unemployment for a couple weeks and was at my new job 3 weeks later.

I don't really have useful advice - you should take whatever time you can to be pissed/upset/whatever and maybe do something fun for yourself. Then, make yourself look awesome on a resume and put it out there. Looking for a job is much easier when you don't have one to work around! ;)

Sending *hugs*

mommyodyssey said...

Urgh - so sorry to hear! chocolate and wine are definitely warranted!
I'll use a famous dr phil saying (yeah, I know, sorry) - when you're unemployed, make getting a job your job. Just don't let yourself fall into bad habits like sleeping late and I'm sure you'll find something new in no time! Good luck!

biojen said...

Dammit, I'm so sorry. I had this exact thing happen to me. It was 4:30 and I was in the middle of running a test, joking around with the boss and a coworker when the boss suddenly asked if she could talk to me. She told me she didn't have enough work and I was the newest so goodbye and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. I was SO, SO angry. It took me a long time to get over. But I was definitely not appreciated in that job and I wasn't going anywhere. It took a while but now I am in a job I love and where I am very appreciated. It gets better, it really does and you have been through, and survived, so much worse. As for looking for jobs - I didn't really even bother with adds. I called everyone I knew in the business that I'm in, and looked up anyone I didn't know. I just asked everyone if they had work. Pretty quickly I found something that worked well for a year and led to the job I have now. One nice thing about this horrible economy is that there is no shame in having lost your job - there are so, so many very well qualified people in the same position.

As for the next couple of days - break something you don't care about and scream and call your ex-company really awful names. Being childish is always so therapeutic.

I wish this hadn't happened to you, you really didn't deserve it. Take care of yourself.

CLC said...

I am so sorry! I hope the chocolate and wine gave you some comfort, at least temporarily.

JoyAndSorrow said...

I second that wine and chocolate are appropriate ways to cope. Cabernet is a fine choice (my fave, actually). Might wanna bust out Ben & Jerry's new ice cream flavor...wait for it...Red Velvet Cake. *faint*

Quiet Dreams said...

So very sorry about your layoff! I agree about the chocolate and wine...unfortunately, chocolate is not such an occasional coping mechanism for me. :)